Take Your Wife Hunting...Really?

I have written about the trials and tribulations of fishing with my wife; about all the work and preparation that goes into such a trip, only to spend all my time tying on new hooks, untangling poles and pulling fishing line out of the trees where she is always trying to catch those flying fish.

 I apologize. I’ll never complain again.

 I realize that she just wanted to spend time with me. There are some men who spend more time with their fishing and hunting buddies than they do with their families and sooner or later they will suffer for it.

My ol’ pal Terence is such a fellow. He’s an avid hunter and fisherman. During the hunting season, he spends every spare moment in the woods. Last year, I guess his wife got more than a little tired of it. When deer season first opened last fall, he jumped up ready to bag his first deer. When he walked into the kitchen that morning, he found the coffee already brewing and his wife sitting at the table, working on her second cup. He was more than a little surprised by this because she liked to sleep late but he was even more surprised to find that she was dressed in camouflage from head to toe.

“What are you up to?” he asked her.

She smiled and informed him that she was going hunting with him. After a fifteen minute debate over her lack of ability as a huntress and sportswoman, he realized that he was never going to make it to the woods by sunrise if he didn’t agree to take her along.

By the time she got through putting on her eyeshadow and packing her purse with essentials like hand cream, lip gloss and low-carb candy bars, it was almost daylight. When they got to the woods, he placed her in the deer stand closest to the road. “Now if you see a deer, take your time, aim carefully and I’ll come running back as soon as I hear your shot.”

Terence headed deeper into the woods and figured he’d have several hours of undisturbed hunting because he knew she would have trouble hitting the broad side of a barn much less a moving animal. But as he started to climb into his own tree stand, he heard a shot; then several more and he decided he’d better go back. He returned to find his wife in a rather agitated state. “What ya shootin at?”

“Nothing,” she replied. “I just wanted to get your attention because I need help getting down. I gotta go to the bathroom!”

After that little matter was taken care of, she got back into the tree stand and she swore she wouldn’t shoot again unless there was really something to shoot at. Terence returned to his stand and was just settling in when he heard more shots. Then a few minutes later, he heard more. Grumbling, he climbed down and headed back once more through the woods. As he got closer, he heard his wife screaming, “Get away from my deer!”

He took off at a run when he heard more shots and again she’s yelling, “Get away from my deer!”  Surely a pack of coyotes or even a panther had happened upon her kill and was trying to drag it off. But he was surprised to find a young man standing near his wife’s stand with his hands in the air. The man was obviously upset as he said, “Okay, lady, okay!! You can have your deer but please let me get my saddle off it before you field dress it!”

Fellas, don’t let this happen to you. Don’t spend all your time hunting, fishing or playing golf. Make some time for activities that your wife and kids can participate in on equal footing with you; like shopping or movies or even horseback riding, (as long as it’s not during deer season.)

Protecting the Public Interest - Really?

I probably don’t have as much sympathy for the homeless and destitute as I should. That’s not easy to admit but it’s true. I was in Wichita, Kansas last winter and a homeless man came up to me on the street. He had on a new insulated coat, new blue jeans and new tennis shoes, all obviously provided to him by a local charity. He was leading a small dog tied to a string and a sign hung around his neck that said, “Homeless, Please help!” He asked me if I could give him a hand because he was broke.

I said, “You’re not broke - you’re even. I’ve got $5000 in credit card debt, a twenty year mortgage, two car payments, a payroll to meet, four to five years of college tuition looming on the horizon and I’ve gotta pay my own health insurance. I’m broke- you don’t owe anybody anything!” By the time I got through with him, the man tried to give me $5 before he wandered off down the street.

Now I’m not totally unfeeling for those in our society that need help, but sometimes I just feel overwhelmed because we are slowly but surely killing the middle class of America. – just a little bit more everyday. We’re taxing and suing and fee-ing and regulating it to death. Currently our President is saying that we should tax the rich even more to provide all these things that we think our government ought to do for us. The wealthy in this country may or may not be paying their fair share but contrary to what some politicians want you to believe, there are too few of them to matter when it comes to paying the bills. The poor can’t pay their share so it mostly falls upon the middle class.

I’m just afraid that in our attempts to provide everything to everybody, to protect everyone from every possible evil, (even our own stupidity) and our desire to always hold someone else responsible for our own troubles, we have found ourselves standing over the golden goose with our foot on her neck and a hatchet raised in our hand ready to strike. We want all our ills cured, all our needs met and all our pet causes justified – RIGHT NOW. We are no longer a country ruled by the majority but by special interest. We are ruled by their threats. Any group with a cause says, “Give us what we want or we’ll talk bad about you and take you to court for years and years where you’ll have to validate parking and spend your weekends looking at some lawyer’s briefs. And it’s all justified because it’s done in the name of “Public Interest.”

One person in Des Moines loses his job or suffers embarrassment because someone discloses his medical records and more regulation is put in place that adds ten dollars to the cost of your next doctor’s visit. Soon these costs get so high that more & more people can’t & won’t pay it, which causes the bills to increase even more for those who can. All done in the name of public interest.

Politicians smooze the elderly and promise them the financial moon at the expense of the next generation’s retirement and financial security. All done in the public interest.

The government provides grant after grant for housing, utility assistance, and workforce training not to mention public education- without any real expectations of improving the lives of those who are receiving the benefits. - All done in the public interest.

NAFTA carried wave after wave of jobs out of the country to escape excessive regulations and high labor costs but the consumer sees no corresponding decrease in the costs of these now foreign goods. All done in the public interest.

New regulations bring new regulations to deal with the problems created by the first set of regulations. This breeds new industries that serve no productive purpose but to deal with the quagmire created by new regulations, - industries that then crave even more regulation as a revenue source. All adding their cost to our everyday bills and all justified in the name of protecting the public interest.

I recently got one of those class action suit form letters from a law firm. If I joined the class action suit, I would receive an $8 discount on a book from the publishing firm that was being sued. In fine print, it was noted that the lawyers were receiving in excess of three million dollars “for protecting the public interest.” I hope that most people realize that these litigation costs aren’t borne by the company being sued or coming out of its executives’ pockets but are simply being passed on to the consumer; whether it’s a book, a pack of cigarettes, a fast food meal, a trip to the doctor or an insurance premium.

With all these groups and politicians out there “protecting the public interest,” I wonder why so many people are feeling less secure today than ever. I’d like the opportunity to protect my own interest for a while – from the trial lawyers, bureaucrats, disloyal industrialists and political demagogues. If not, my sympathy for the homeless will likely increase over the next few years as I may soon be one of them.

W. McCully

Zukes Aplenty!!!

Another news story got my attention over the summer. It seems that somewhere in North Dakota, thieves stole several thousand onions from a farmer’s truck patch. They stripped the field completely. Now the only reason this story caught my eye is because of all the produce that most gardeners have around here in late summer. By the middle of July, most folks can’t give a tomato away and if you’re known to grow zucchini squash, people will actually cross the street to avoid you for fear that you’ll force a grocery sack full of the stuff into their arms.
My friend “Roop” almost went to jail because of zucchini squash. He once tackled a young man running down the sidewalk because he thought he had mugged the little old lady who was chasing after him with what looked to be a club in her hand. Come to find out, she was trying to give him a big ol’ zucchini to take home to his momma. The kid was going to press charges but Boo finally agreed to take the zucchini in lieu of jail time.
Living in an area of such surplus, it’s hard to imagine anyone going to the trouble of garden thievery. Maybe there was a little snitching out of the watermelon patch in years past, but nothing major like stripping a farmer’s field. There just isn’t any need to steal produce in this part of the country. Most folks who wouldn’t put a quarter in the collection plate on Sunday are generous to a fault when it comes to their garden vegetables.
The South is the only part of the country where there are such prolific vegetable gardens. We have the weather, the space and the tradition that produces the finest crops in the world. Just a generation back, a big garden was a necessity and people are still in the habit of planting more than they need. Purple hull peas, butterbeans and green beans have been the staples of the southern diet for generations now. Before television, sitting on the front porch in the evening, shelling peas and butterbeans was family time. Parents and kids actually talked to each other. One of the best evenings I’ve ever spent was shelling peas with my wife and daughter. We were all actually in the same place together doing the same thing which is pretty rare anymore.
Gardens are a lot of work and a lot of people don’t want to work that hard. I‘m always full of enthusiasm every spring when I plow a garden, but by the heat of July, I’m pretty sick of the whole thing. I let the grass and the bugs take over by then and look forward to school starting. But some people are even worse than I am. My brother always plants a patch of corn every year; much more than the family can use so we often try to give it away. I’ve offered corn to people and have actually been told that they are considering several offers and that I would need to sweeten the deal a little. The neighbor down the road had offered to pick and bring corn to them but if I would shuck and silk mine for them they might be interested. I’m just not that generous. But I will make a deal with you. I won’t bring you a grocery sack full of bell peppers & okra if you won’t bring me any zucchini. How’s that?

OPEN SEASON ON POLITICIANS

Like most people, I’ll be happy when these elections are over. The politicians are in rut and running wild across the landscape in search of their one & only desire; your vote. It seems locally there are more people running for office than ever. The population of politicians may be getting larger than our environment can support. This is why I am advocating that in the future we remove the responsibilities of the election process from the Secretary Of State’s Office & put them in the hands of an office that knows how to deal with such matters; the Mississippi Department of Wildlife, Fisheries and Parks.
Let’s look at the facts. If there is any department of state government that has been efficient and done an excellent job over the years, it has got to be the MDWFP. If they could run elections half as well as they manage the hunting and fishing seasons here in Mississippi, the whole process would be much more bearable to the general population. In fact they could structure many of the regulations just like the ones they already have in place:
Seasons: Season opens six weeks prior to the date of the primary and closes one half hour after sunset the day prior to the primary. Season opens again two weeks prior to final election as most voters will have already chosen their candidate & excessive political activity is simply annoying to the voting public and may cause depletion of their population. Politicking out of season is considered a felony and the offender is subject to a fine of $2000 or one year imprisonment.
Voting License: A voting license may be issued to any resident over the age of 18 who has not been convicted of a felony and who knows the name of at least one candidate for each office for which they intend to vote. Those who do not know such information must attend a Voter’s Education Course. No license will be issued to non-residents.
Voting Hours: Voting may begin one half hour prior to sunrise and must conclude one half hour after sunset.
Bag Limits: Voters are only allowed one vote per office per season. Votes may be cast for either sex. Voters who exceed these limits are subject to fines & imprisonment.
Decoys & Bait: The use of decoys in the form of religion, children’s welfare, and tax cuts are legal but are discouraged unless the politician has no other manner in which to obtain votes. Bait in the form of bribes, driveway gravel, changes in zoning restrictions or free rides to the polls are illegal.
Politicking from Roadways, Vehicles and Boats: Is allowed with certain restrictions. Political signs on roadways must not obscure intersections or the signs of other candidates. Signs for individual candidates must be removed from the roadside within one week of the election. Signs remaining after this period will be collected by county or city employees, shredded into confetti and strewn about the candidate’s yard after midnight on the 10th day after the election. Politicking is allowed from cars, vans, buses, boats, planes and horse drawn vehicles during daylight hours but the vehicle must be in motion.
Vote Scavenging: Scavenging votes from old voter rolls, old folk’s homes and cemeteries is illegal unless a list of such voters is also provided to opposing candidates so as not to place such voters at risk of violating previously stated bag limits.
I think by turning this all over to MDWFP, we could eliminate a lot of the headaches and costs of the election process here in Mississippi. There’s just one problem. We’d probably have to vote on it.

IT’S ONE FOR THE MONEY

This is a reprint of a commentary posted in "Cornbread & Potlikker" in 2010.
"I half expected to find “Elvis Hunk-A-Burnin Love Condoms” and “Now or Never Chocolate Laxatives” behind the check out counters."


My family and I took a little trip back a few months ago. Spring fever had set in and we needed to get away from yard work and chasing down income tax receipts. We decided to run up to Memphis and visit Graceland. My daughter has always been curious about Elvis and I thought she might enjoy seeing his home and memorabilia and we could buy a t-shirt or two.
If it’s possible, Elvis is more famous dead than he ever was alive. He’s everywhere and without a doubt the biggest money maker in Memphis. He’s probably still selling more records (CD’s for you younger folks) than most new artists which isn’t surprising considering the sad state of the current music industry. People are still fascinated by his life and music and as a tourist destination; Graceland must rival the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone.
But I have to say that I was disappointed. For eighteen bucks a person, you get a bus ride across Elvis Presley Boulevard, a digital recorder and headphones to hang around your neck instead of a tour guide and the opportunity to stand in a crowd of hot, sweaty people; many of whom speak in a foreign language (strangely enough, mostly Northern European) and be herded through the mansion and grounds like livestock at a sale barn. I kept waiting for them to bring out the cattle prod for the older couple in front of us who kept holding up the line because they couldn’t get the lens cap off their camera. The highlight of the tour for my daughter was when the security people watching through surveillance cameras would say “Thank you – Thank you very much.” As they cautioned people to not lean over the railing or attempt to touch the displays.
Now I love Elvis. It’s hard not to love Elvis. It’s a rags to riches story of a young man who changed not only American culture but was a worldwide cultural phenomenon as well. His story has all the pathos and tragedy of any good made-for-TV movie. But what’s been done to his memory is even more tragic.
Elvis has become like Sponge Bob. He’s everywhere. His image is on everything from clocks to cell phone covers. He is an A-number one marketing tool because people just can’t seem to get enough of him. The souvenir shops across the street from Graceland are loaded with everything Elvis. Products range from bobble heads to put on your dashboard to recipe books with “Hound Dog Chili Dogs” and 101 variations of the peanut butter and banana sandwich. I half expected to find “Elvis Hunk-A-Burnin Love Condoms” and “Now or Never Chocolate Laxatives” behind the check out counters.
Something just seems inherently wrong about using Elvis in this way. I felt slimy after the whole experience, like I needed a bath. Granted, Elvis was marketed during his whole career and he wasn’t necessarily known for his good taste. He also didn’t die in the most dignified manner. I think that’s God’s way of reminding us not to get too big for our britches (literally and figuratively). But for his family to license his image for the most inane products isn’t something that should sit too well with his true fans.
I don’t think I’ll go back to Graceland anytime soon. It just tarnished Elvis’s memory for me and I don’t really need another “Blue Suede Toilet Seat”. I’ll just try to hold on to a more pleasant memory of the Elvis that use to be while I’m singing “Don’t Be Cruel” in the shower and using my Kentucky Rain Shampoo, Love Me Tender Conditioner and my Elvis soap on a rope.
William McCully

What's Happenin This Weekend - June 3-5

Things have slowed down a bit now that most memorials, graduations and the Red Hills Festival and all that goes along with it are over, but there's still a lot going on in the area.  The first farmer's market of the year is set for 7 am on Saturday. Organizers had planned to open the market during the Red Hills Festival but with weather and planning issues, the opening was pushed back a week. It will again be located on S. Columbus in front of the Citizen's Bank. There was some discussion of moving the market to a different location because of safety issues but for now, this is the most viable site. (Just a note: northbound traffic on that block of S. Columbus will be closed during the market. Southbound traffic will proceed as usual but please use caution.) The market is not just for produce as local folk are encourage to bring craft items, home- canned goods, baked goods, artwork, etc. The market runs from 7 am til about 10 am - every Saturday morning into the Fall.
After the farmer's market , head on down to Dean Park on Hwy 15S for the Juneteenth Festival. This is the 27th year of the festival. Starting at noon, there will be political speaking, entertainment, door prizes, cakewalks, a variety of food and lots of games for the kids. You can also register to vote in the upcoming elections
And if you would rather be fishing, You can check and see if there is still time to register for the annual Fishing Derby at Noxubee Refuge. The 9th annual fishing derby is held at two fishing ponds stocked with catfish.  Children ages four through fifteen must pre-register to participate. If the limit is not met, some may register the morning of the derby. The two types of registration are
$10 with a rod & reel provided, or
$ 5 if using your own equipment
Prizes will be awarded in two age categories but each registered child will receive a goodie bag and a prize. Follow the signs to the ponds. Call  to find out if space is still available - 662-323-5548.
Just a reminder to everybody - It's hot out there- as if you didn't know. If you are going to be outside, please drink plenty of liquids, preferably water and slow down a bit. Also remember your animals need plenty of water and shade. Have a Great Weekend!!

Miles is Smiling Down

Tommy Joe Miles was in the hearts and minds of many people in the Nanih Waiya community lately. Just as he is every spring. But this year it was even more so. For those of you who don't know who Tommy Joe was, he was a teacher and a coach at Nanih Waiya. But saying that he was just a teacher and a coach would be an understatement. Known as Tommy Joe to his friends and Mr. Miles to his students and players, he literally built the baseball program at Nanih Waiya. His first love behind God and family was baseball. This time of year if you wanted to see Mr. Miles and couldn't find him all you would have to do is find the baseball field and he would be there. Well even now, some 22 years after his death you can still find him on that baseball field.

How is this possible you might ask? Well for one thing, his name is on the field. But more importantly his legacy lives on even in the players that just won the state championship this year. Nine out of the ten starting players for the 2011 Warriors have some ties back to Mr. Miles. Hunter Luke's dad Shawn, Jeffrey Hemphill's dad Jerry, Hunter Swart's mom Belinda, Colby Eaves' mom Gail, and even Nanih Waiya principal David Luke all were a part of the 1987 North State Championship team coached by Mr. Miles. At least one if not both of the parents of Tanner Dalton, Dominique Carter, Brandon Rigdon, and Luke Rosamond were either taught or coached by Mr. Miles. And of course Zach Hanna has ties to Mr. Miles as he is the son of Miles' nephew, Head Football Coach Tate Hannah. I would even venture to say that Mr. Miles had some influence over Stewart Ball even though his parents did not attend Nanih Waiya during that time. I am also sure he had some influence over Coach Tyler Rogers who grew up in the Nanih Waiya community.

The dream that Mr. Miles had for the Nanih Waiya baseball program almost came true in 1987. A group of young men that had played baseball together since they were big enough to pick up a bat had come together for a great season and won the North State Championship against a tough Mantachie team. But the Warriors faced an even tougher foe in the State Championship against Beulah Hubbard. The first game was a knock down/drag out, 11 inning battle between two great teams. Kevin Reel pitched 10 great innings but it just wasn't enough as Beulah Hubbard won the first game of the series. After that huge letdown the Warriors couldn't get back on track to win the second game and the hopes of a championship were dashed. It's hard to say who was more crushed after that game, Mr. Miles or the Seniors who had come so close.

Mr. Miles pushed on until his body gave out while working on his field in 1989. But his spirit remained and kept the Nanih Waiya baseball program alive through the years. His former students and players began having children over the years and they coached their kids and allowed them to play the sport Mr. Miles loved. These kids came together as a team this last week and the sun was shining bright on May 19, 2011 at Trustmark Park. Mr. Miles was there, giving the signs from the 3rd base coaching box, throwing his hat down in disgust when something went wrong, moving his hair to the other side of his head before putting his cap back on, and grinning from ear to ear when his boys won the 2011 State Baseball Championship. That bright, shining sun was him smiling down on His Warrior baseball team.

Congratulations Mr. Miles. Job well done!!!

commentary from Jerry Hemphill

What's Happening This Week in Winston County - 5-19

Lots going on this weekend in Winston County! - There wil be a Live Shoot at Estes Switch (Off Hwy 15S) starting on Friday and running through the weekend. Period weapons and clothing are all part of the event - check out our events page for more details. The ECCC Jobs Fair in conjunction with WIN & Taylor Machine Works starts on Thursday & runs through Saturday..click here for more info . The Nanih Waiya Warriors play the 2nd game of a three game series with Falkner at 4 pm on Thursday. The Warriors took the first game of the series & a win today will earn the team a State Championship. The Dizzy Dean Tournament is in town this weekend as well. click here for more info..


And last but not least we have two school graduations remaining- Noxapater on Thursday & Louisville on Friday - both start at 7 pm.......Remember to check out our pages everyday for news and events. There's something new everyday. We appreciate your support & tell your friends and neighbors to follow us at winstonwebnews.com. ---and as always --SCROLL DOWN !!-- there's alway more to see..

Busy Week -- Busy Weekend Here in Winston Co...

A busy weekend is ahead of us in Winston County. Not mentioning specific memorials and graduation events and parties, Dizzy Dean baseball is in town as well as the Kids N Kats fishing rodeo held on Saturday at Legion State park. If you have a youngster 12 years of age or less, you don't want to miss this: concessions, doorprizes and 750 catfish just waiting to be caught.Registration starts at 7:30 and it looks like it will be a beautiful day.
There will also be a Relay for Life Survivor's Luncheon at the First Presbyterian church at 11:00 am. All cancer survivors are welcome to attend. ... And it may be too late to register but you can call the Library to find out - The Fancy Nancy Tea Party is scheduled for Saturday as well.. All these events are posted on WinstonWebNews on our events page and on our Coummunity Calendar.
The Community Calendar is a great tool to schedule your events and see what's going on - any given day across the area & you can print it out!!
There's been lots of news this week - from the tornado cleanup to all the board meetings to honoring our senior honor graduates - teachers and parents.. If you are not checking out WWN at least once a day (twice is better) then you are missing the most current news source in our area.. & REMEMBER _ SCROLL DOWN_ there is so much happening in the county right now that we are posting several stories a day. If you don't scroll down our home page - I guarantee you will miss something... for all the stories & links to all our pages click here.

Bad Weather Brings Some Things That Aren't So Bad

It’s been a long week here in Winston County. The news obviously dominated by the weather. We have to realize that we have been blessed when we start making comparisons to our neighbors in surrounding counties; damages and injuries and death in almost every corner. Wednesday was the worst. The last count I saw was 165 possible tornados across the Southeast and approaching 300 deaths, more than thirty of those right here in Mississippi. The little town of Smithville was all but wiped out and across the state line, Tuscaloosa & Birmingham had the highest death toll and property damage.

We did have our problems right here. Wednesday morning brought damage to my neck of the woods as some neighbors in the Evergreen & Poplar Flat communities dealt with downed trees and the resulting damages to their homes. But it was the afternoon storms that dealt a heavy blow not only across the South but here in our immediate area. A significant tornado made its path through Neshoba, Kemper and into the southwest corner of Winston County. The storm devastated the small community of Preston where three sisters with Winston County ties were killed. The path of the tornado made its way along County Line Road and surrounding area, across Hwy 397 and along the Shuqualak Road. Multiple homes were damaged in the County and some injuries occurred - But - it could have been much worse as the community south of Nanih Waiya was sparsely populated. As I surveyed the area and the path of the tornado, I realized just how powerful this thing was and how bad it could have been if this had hit a few miles further north and west.

The wrecked homes and property were a hard thing to see. It’s difficult not to be moved when you think of people’s lives turned (literally) upside down. But I saw something that affected me even more than the debris piles, turned over vehicles and missing roofs.

The morning after the storm , I saw yards full of cars and pickup trucks, people swarming rooftops covered in blue tarps, the sounds of hammers, saws, tractors and backhoes as people helped their neighbors, friends and family start to pull their lives back together. I saw the utility crews working methodically to restore power and I even saw a few smiles as people waved as we drove by.

I didn’t see FEMA, the Red Cross or a news crew from CNN; just people helping each other without waiting for the government or an aid agency to do it for them. In a very short time, homes will be repaired or rebuilt, lives will resume and only a few scars on the landscape and some personal stories will remain from the 2011 tornado. It’s good to be from the South -It’s good to be from Mississippi & it’s good to be from Winston County.

William McCully

Reader Questions Projected Savings in School Restructuring

An Article in last week's Winston County Journal concerning plans to restructure Eiland Middle School and the projected cost savings indicated, prompted this response from a local citizen:

Where are the Savings?
After reading the article on the front page of the Winston County Journal 2/16 edition, I am confused. If the school transfers the students from Eiland Middle School but still keeps the facility open, where are the savings? The article goes on to say that the staff will not be cut so am I to assume the administration of Eiland will also be transferred to another school? My confusion is how do you not close the facility but save money by transferring the students? You will still have the same overhead costs to maintain and service the facility so again, where are the savings? After the large increase to our taxes due to the school's share, I was surprised to see it admitted that the overall attendance has declined, but yet the cost is increasing. I would also like to know what the expected building costs might be to build at the high school to accommodate the students as discussed in the article. Maybe, in future articles we may be privy to the creative accounting that shows how you can transfer students and staff, build additions to the high school, leave the Eiland building open and functioning and still save money.

Respectfully, Jim Anderson

An Open Letter to Our Viewers

We've been busy here at WWN. We continue to tweak & test our site and later this Spring you can look for some major design and content changes. But we've got great things that we've added right now:

The Legislature is in session and on top of that - it's an election year. Our Legislative News page (4th tab down on toolbar) is something completely new that we don't believe has ever been done before. This page contains a Twitter feed of tweets not only from WWN but also news sources and legislative members right at the State Capitol. Now folks here in Winston County or across the state, can continually monitor the activity during the session. WWN screens the tweets for content (no flagrant campaigning or name - calling) and will post links to bills or further news stories.

For those unfamiliar with Twitter - posts must be short but can contain links to news stories, websites, video & photos. It's a great headline generator and posts are almost immediate. -- And the great thing about WWN's Feed is that you don't have to follow anyone or even have a Twitter account - Just check out our page several times a day. If you know of an area legislator or news source that tweets, let us know and we will continually add them to our feed.

Also*** you will see a series of video stories over the next few days from Public Service Commissioner Brandon Presley's town hall meeting right here in Louisville on Thursday night. He presented a great deal of information that almost any consumer can use and we have edited his remarks into short videos that will be posted in the News Links section of our home page on a regular basis over the next several days (next post will be Monday). Topics include a Rate payers Bill of Rights, Cell Tower coverage in Winston County, Spoofing, Cramming, the Kemper coal plant and more. The first video is online now.

We know that we have a long way to go to provide more coverage of Winston County. We advance as time & money allow. You can help also by:

Giving us your opinion - likes and dislikes

Telling your friends, neighbors & coworkers about WWN

Remembering to contact us when you have an event, news story or article idea that needs to be publicized.

Patronizing our advertisers and consider advertising yourself on our pages.

Make us one of your homepages and visit our site on a daily basis.

Thanks for your support over the last six months and in the future.


William Mccully
Editor WWN


http://winstonwebnews.com

To Droop or Not To Droop - Every Middle -Aged Man's Question

I’m afraid I’ve reached that certain point in my life; a milestone of middle age that all men dread worse than prostate exams and ear hair; a sign of the aging process that can’t be hidden with a toupee or a botox injection. I have finally reached the “droopy drawers” stage of my life.

My pants and yes, even my underwear just won’t stay put anymore. The gravity that’s been working aggressively on various parts of my body has now attacked my britches. My pants bag around my backside looking for any excuse to drop a little lower and drag my BVD’s along for the ride.

Now a fellow might think that all this bagginess might be coming from a loss of mass in the posterior, allowing for more wiggle room in the standard pair of khakis or jeans, but unfortunately this is not the case. Most men my age could stand a little less baggage back there, but believe me, guys, while this is one of the few areas you do want to shrink as you get older – it ain’t gonna! No, the problem is coming from the other direction.

The late great Lewis Grizzard called it the “two-bellies”; a condition that men seem to suffer from as they reach their forties and beyond. The two-bellies (TB for short) almost always appear in conjunction with droopy drawers and is most likely the cause of this sad sagging situation. If you’re not sure that you suffer from TB, let me provide some instructions for self-diagnosis because the medical profession refuses to recognize this or droopy-drawers (DD) as actual medical problems. All they’re going to do is put you on a low-fat diet and tell you to eat only those things that have the taste and texture of cardboard or Styrofoam packing peanuts.

These ailments are most obvious in the standing position. I suggest you wear a white t-shirt, your favorite pair of khakis and a standard belt. Place the waistline of your britches in the standard position and tighten the belt - one more notch than you usually do. Now, look in a full length mirror. What do you see? If there are two distinct bellies; one north of the belt and another south, you’ve got the TB’s. To further verify your condition, sit down and stand back up. Turn around and view yourself from behind. If the seat of your pants is in close proximity to the back of your knees, you are also suffering from “Droopy Drawers”.

What has happened is that your waistband slipped below belly number two when you sat down. This is a design mechanism built into most trousers to keep their integrity intact and to prevent the top button from popping off with such force as to put out an eye or break a window. But by slipping below belly two, the seat is also lowered and the result is of course “DD”.

Some men try to overcome the effects of “TB” and “DD” by raising their waistline above belly number one to a point just below the neck. This is called high pants or “HP”. This actually rejoins the two bellies into one and produces a nice rounded shape in the midsection. However, it does seem to be only effective when wearing polyester pants and white socks with sandals and the general consensus of opinion is that “HP” is even less attractive than DD.

Most of us go through life after forty, adjusting and hitching up our britches and shorts every time we stand or take a few steps or when we suck in our bellies when we see a pretty girl. It’s just a fact of aging that we have to deal with; like stray hairs growing out of our foreheads at the same time our hairline is receding.

There is no easy cure for “TB” and “DD”. Do a hundred sit ups a day and eat cardboard or deal with the symptoms by hitching up our pants and going about our business – or -- switching to dresses – but most of us just don’t have the legs for that.